Happy New New Superosity Year Everybody

What a year of Superosity it has been, all amazing and hilarious as usual, and now it's all pretty in pink to boot. Of particular note is that the storyline dropdown has finally been updated, making it easier to hone in on particular favourites from the past few years.

There was quite a scare last calendar year, with all that fourth wall breaking. It is not common for Superosity, not on so large a scale. One time Chris snatched a strand of rain out of the air. Another time Boardy commented that Chris had a habit of scribbling out swears. These are not the same. Here was an entire storyline based around the characters potentially realising they were in a comic. For a while I wondered whether the series was trembling on the edge of collapsing on itself and ending forever, and I stood trembling on the edge of utter despair as I watched the proceeding. Masterful use of suspense, though I still have not gotten back in the habit of sleeping in complete ease. The calm will return, eventually.

Have fun continuing to read Superosity, everybody. It's what life was invented for. See you again in two years or one year... or maybe even sooner?

Happy New Year, Everybody!

No, not that new year. The real new year. The anniversary of that day at which human culture peaked with the inception of Superosity. Modern civilisation is now 15 years old, may it ever prosper.

So many amazing things have happened in the past year. Too many to document. Did anybody notice the new Mars-based origin of Santa Claus, who was granted powers by a Martian wizard dressed like a solar politician? Could all these space references confirm the veracity of events depicted by a certain series of schools plays? Only time will tell, and time ain't talking.

I tried asking some thyme instead, but it told me I was partaking of a stupid pun which demarcated me as an individual well below its own intellectual status. It also pointed out that "ain't" isn't a real word. It refused to converse any further with me, completely ignoring me no matter what I said. I always knew herbs were a snobby form of flavouring. Henceforth it's nothing but good honest doses of salt, fat, and sugar for me.

The most exciting introduction from the past year, however, is very possibly a certain duck. What duck, you ask? If you have been reading Superosity you should already know. Well, don't worry, maybe we'll discuss that another day. No reason to let you gobble everything down at once.

Wait, it's turkeys that gobble. I should have said "no reason to serve all the quackers at once." For you to gobble up immediately, because they're all served up at once. I mean like crackers. "Crackers" sounds similar to "quackers."

Oh, duck it.

A Quick Newsflash

Just a quick update to let you guys know: Superosity is excellent. I wrote a poem about it.

I haven't actually written it yet, I'm about to compose it right now, but by the time you read this it will already have been written. Time is a funny thing.

Superosity is really good.
My mother always says
It's better than food,
"Read it twice a day
And you're a cool dude."

Superosity is really great.
My father always says
It's better than dates,
"Read it twice a day
And you need never mate."

For Superosity, we must confess,
Is the answer to all duress.
Each time it updates read it twice
And everything will be super nice.

This Is The Way The World's Saved

Not with a bang but a whimper. You know what this means? It means that when Dan Akroyd flung Christ and Arcadia into the future, 1000 years after the demise of Earth, they were a whole 500 years further in the future than we thought! This changes everything.

It was perhaps an anticlimactic ending to what was to be the end of the world, but given that for most of the year the writing was sidetracked by the very first ever adventure in the Board Dimension, it can be forgiven. Nothing could have followed that without being overshadowed. Chris has probably made the most interesting point on the subject: Those Aliens sure are going to be confused.

Plenty more has occurred since I last dusted off this hunk of junk, and even more than that has transpired while I recovered from the intense coughing fit that resulted from inhaling so much dust. I have of course been desperately attempting to catch up on Superosity in the meantime. A most enjoyable series of unfortunate events has of course transpired. What will become of this charming little examination of nerd culture's recent attempt to withdraw into itself in the wake of popularisation? You probably already know. It played out a while ago, and sensible people haven't been distracted by the overwhelming affairs of everyday life. Sensible people have been reading Superosity every day and are already up to date. I like to think that if anybody reads this blog, such people are sensible people.

See you next time, folks. Remember to brush your teeth at least once a now and again.

Crisis On Infinite Superosities

Hold up, me lovelies. Take a bit of a gander at this:

Is this the seed of some grand shift in our understanding of Superosity continuity? It's hard to say. Perhaps Dr. Micron's hypothetical understanding of time travel is simply flawed. Nonetheless, in case something does indeed occur, I want to go down as the guy who mentioned it on the eve if its manifestation. If nothing of interest transpires, no matter. I'm taking this one shot at immortality.

Better the fool who took a chance and failed than the fool who took no chances and didn't succeed.

Superzeitgeistosity

These past few months have been exciting for a Superosity reader. Every month is of course exciting for a Superosity reader on account of all the Superosity installments contained within each month, but these past few months have been made particularly exciting by the extra momentous nature of this period's Superosity installments.

There is much that could be said about this Board Dimension. More than enough to fill a Russian novel, although it must be admitted that most of the pages of a Russian novel are already filled with words so there isn't much space to fill in any case. If the pages of that Russian novel were blank, however? I believe those pages could readily be filled to the brim with interesting commentary on the Board Dimension. A writer-blocked Russian would probably be very relieved to have people like us around.

This is, after all, an adventure regarding one of Chris' most important relationships. We already had a massive adventure for his wife. That was his wedding, and it too was a momentous period. Now it is time to be momentous about other people. It is time to be momentous about his childhood friend, that companion and caregiver who has been there for him since before Arcadia ever taught him to see floating hearts. It is time for Boardy.

So much has happened. There is so much to say that there's no way it can all be said by one person. Let's see what other people have been saying:

Spoon says, "TOO MANY BOARDS. What is the world coming to"

What, indeed?

Milton says, "This is the best storyline."

This may be a controversial position to hold. There is no doubt that the best storyline in the world would necessarily be a Superosity storyline, but what is the best Superosity storyline? It's a tricky question. Milton thinks it's this one.

Perhaps it's not so controversial as all that: beyond the boundaries of this humble blog, people are saying such things as,

"I do very sincerely remark that this is the funniest, best written storyline yet," by Milton Bradley. It is hard to understand when people are being serious on the Superosity message board, it is possible that nobody is ever being serious on the Superosity message board, it is a difficult message board to get one's head around even if you are a Superosity fan yourself, but let us consider the possibility that in this case "sincerely" is meant sincerely. That would mean he meant it! Just like Milton.

Funny how they share the same name.

In the same forum, RevSam is expounding that "it's just sinking in how huge this storyline is! the origin of boardy COME ON." This really gets to the crux of the matter. It is a huge storyline. It has continued for nearly six months now, but its size goes beyond that. The events are so significant, they can safely be described as hugely so.

Ringading considers that "it is only comparable to that historic moment when Bobby beat the shit out of Marlene and ran in one direction for an hour." I think it is comparable to other things, but it is certainly something to think about I guess.

So five out of six extremely intelligent and interesting people (ie. Superosity readers) agree: this is quite a grand storyline to behold. That sixth guy probably agrees too, but he's so bewildered about the number of boards that he has no energy to say so. Is this true, Spoon? Feel free to let us know.

There is so much more to be said. The right thing to do would be to list these new boards and determine which one is everybody's favourite. The other right thing to do would be to make a poll on Facebook that helps people determine which board they are most similar to. These things should be done, but I won't do these things. What I will do is say more things about it. There are so many things to say. I will say some of them.

Eventually.

It will take some time to decide how to synthesise them. See you in another three months or so or less or more.

All A Board

These are strange times. Not only has the venerable Sluggy Freelance scaled back its production schedule to three days a week, making Superosity's prodigious production even more impressive with its continued seven day weeks, but we have been treated to an entire universe filled to the brim with boards. You can't throw a board in this place without hitting a board. It's amazing.

We've gone from three proper named boards and a single sponge-based one to an entire universe-spanning population. It's amazing.

Does this mean the Boardy origin conundrum is now to be solved? One would expect so, but consider this: we have seen many an alternate Boardy. Are we to believe they all originate from the same universe? Maybe so. We will have to wait and find out.

Another question: does this universe contain board versions of the characters we all know and love? We will have to wait and find out.

Even more fascinatingly, is this a dimension called HEAVEN? Has Superosity finally gone too far? We will have to wait and find out.

Stay tuned. To Superosity, not to here, but maybe you could think about keep a little bit tuned into this place too if you happen to have a spare tuner lying around. No pressure or anything.

Steadily Simmering On

Well, folks, it has been over a month since the commencement of Superosity's fourteenth year, and I have a feeling that this year of Superosity is going to be a good one. This is because any year of Superosity which contains Superosity is a good one. Goodness is endemic to Superosity.

Another good sign is the top form Superosity was in during the week of its thirteenth birthday. Check out this one in particular, and this one in particular, and this one also in particular. Hell, check out the whole thing in particular: this is top quality stuff! Most of these punchlines are hinged on hilarious twists of logic that are difficult not to appreciate.

Similarly, all the comics that follow can be summed up with one word: enjoyable. It's an understated choice, but gets the basic message across.

So we come to today's comic, which in its final panel perhaps manages to sum up Superosity's tone quite neatly.

That astonished gasp followed by a total normalisation of the supposedly shocking statement.

The spanning of multiple time periods and universes is of course part of Chris' everyday life, and as the computer implies shouldn't be shocking to him at all, but he needed to gasp because that's what would be expected of him if he were a fictional character. As readers of a fictional character, it also happens to be what we expect to see. So he earnestly goes through the motions in his childlike way, and the predictability of this behaviour is dismantled by the world simply ticking on. Time to see what zany adventure this will lead to.

(How do you get a world to tick? Just mix a couple of metaphors and half bake it. You should know this by now).

Finally, just a note on my own personal tardiness: I'm pretty lazy, really, and considering the invisibility of my pretend audience I only really write this stuff for the joy of writing about Superosity. Blogger is also a hassle to log into now that I have to jump through hoops to evade Google's attempt to consolidate my various internet activities under a single Gmail account. I can't promise regular updates, but I do promise if that if I ever decide to stop doing this I'll actually state that fact instead of just suddenly stopping. So maybe check back every month or so or just when you think of it. I don't know. You and I both know that you're fictional anyway.

What Darkness Lurks

This year is shaping up to be a fascinating one for Superosity. For one thing, it is Superosity, which makes it inherently fascinating. For another, the groundwork is being set for strange shifts in the dynamic. There's Obama's aforementioned war on Reptilianism, the suggestion that all Republican candidates are Reptilians, and the revelation that the world needs to be cloned to preserve its rich heritage before World MK I suffers its impending destruction. It might also be worth mentioning that two of everybody's favourite side characters, Pupkin and Alan's Famous Indian Screaming Lizard, have run away together as though they were dish and spoon.

The result of all this is a new continuity with an underlying sense of urgent danger. Never before has so much been simmering behind the scenes in Superosity. Will the Superosity world survive such a hazardous year? Our human civilisation would do well to hope so.

Back To Barack

Barack Obama has seen little coverage in Superosity. Sure, Boardy returned his wallet, and we've been seeing glimpses of Boardy's little obsession, but the character himself has remained inert. Compare this to Baby Bush, whose obnoxious behaviour was a regular source of plot points throughout the reign of his real-life counterpart. It is quite probable that GW Bush's astonishing capacity for reelection was largely due to the fame he garnered through Superosity. All publicity is good publicity, after all.

It is therefore exciting to see Obama finally take an active role in a Superosity storyline. So exciting that we can easily get over the disappointment of having Chris' trick-or-treating expedition with Moneybags reduced to a single strip. So Obama apparently has something against Reptillians and employs the negotiation tactics of an indulgent mother. It is surprising to find no fictional elements have yet been worked into the Superosity interpretation, but I suppose we must sit back and wait to see what is to come. In the meantime, let us contemplate a hint of things to come... in the future.

Really makes you think, doesn't it? But then, when doesn't Superosity make you think? Only when you happen to be reading it in the middle of receiving a brain transplant, methinks.

All That Is Air Condenses To Solid

Today one of the many holes in my heart has been filled, for I have finally gotten around to acquiring the print issues of Superosity that were released in those heady days when Keenspot was into doing that kind of thing. They are not in the pristine condition that I would have liked, but are nonetheless guaranteed to be 100% blackout proof, allowing for electricity free enjoyment of Superosity at any time of the day that provides enough light to read by. A necessary precaution in this post-peak-oil era.

They also contain creator commentary, a source of invaluable background information that is sure to prove invaluable as information. Did you know that there was once a shirt featuring the last panel of this strip? Maybe you did. I have a feeling that I may have known it at some point myself, but I forgot about it. Or maybe it just feels like something I once knew. Anyway, now we're all certain about being fully aware of the fact-- unless of course you can't read, in which case I'm sorry for marginalising you but am unsure what you're doing staring at these enigmatic scribbles. You should find something better to do with your time, like learning to read or something.

As I flicked through these issues, experiencing Superosity in glorious black for the first time, I also noticed an unfortunate error that I made in my previous post. The first appearance of those aliens isn't in their eponymous storyline, as I had implied. It was two years earlier, in Chris' first journey to the future, during which Chris and Boardy worked to prevent future Bobby from starting a war. This is significant because it clearly depicts representatives of the aliens living on Earth in future history. I apologise; this was a serious oversight. My memory isn't what it used to be. I can't remember what it used to be.

That's all for now, folks. Stay tuned for next issue, in which something brilliant is written </foreshadowing>, but maybe not quite as brilliant as suggested. </ominous foreshadowing>

The Spy Who Came In With The Cold Blood

With the introduction of the Reptillian alien race, one can't help but wonder about the implications for the secret Lizard kingdom. These Reptillian beings, they are like Doctor Who's Silurians. Except they're not from Earth. Or at least if they are from Earth they fly around their home planet in spaceships for some reason. In any case, they clearly hope to be the planet's dominant race and it seems probable that Burt Reynolds would have a hand (or claw?) in any such play for power.

Reptillians are the latest in what has come to be a very complicated intergalactic landscape. It could be argued that the variety of alien species is one of the richest elements of Superosity's mythology. This argument would be made easy by the vague qualification "one of." It would be made difficult by the sheer richness of Superosity's elemental table. Regardless, I maintain that Superosity's extraterrestrial scope is impressive.

There was a time when this range was centred on and pretty much limited to those gray aliens, a parody of your classic Roswell alien with paler skin flying about in saucers to partake of recreational abductions. This parody by itself was rich in detail-- the way they remained unnamed and were referred to only by reputation, the way their lack of emotions played upon ideas about scientific purity, and of course their compulsive abduction habit. Never before had such a simple caricature been so nuanced. At least, this was arguably one of the times after the period in which no simple caricature had previously been so nuanced that there was so much nuance in a simple caricature .

They were great (in the sense of quality), but space is greater (in the sense of size) [note to self: if you have to explain a turn of phrase don't use it] {other note to self: shut up, you're not the boss of me}. It came to seem a bit of a shame to focus the examination of alien life on just the one parody, especially when time travel had been partaken of so adeptly.

This all changed with the massive story arc that began with Space Is Keen, the most thorough exploration of Superosity's contemporary universe to date. In one extraordinarily lengthy fell swoop, Superosity's spacescape was filled with life. Most importantly, this is where we first learnt of the cannibalistic Venusians, the beings currently harbouring Chris' parents in law. But this is not all we gained. It also sowed the seeds for lunatic filth-filled dictatorships, fugitive spaceballs, extraterrestrial omnipotence, and many others. Wacky Martians would also eventually come to be in consequence of this landmark occasion. Today the region of Superosity's outer space is at least as compelling as its future histories and parallel Earths.

So, Reptillians, we welcome your entry into the realm of Superosity's contemporary species. You are part of what has come to be a great (in the sense of both quality and size) legacy. Please don't nibble on me.

Oh, and happy birthday to our dimension's very own Chris Crosby.

Farewell To Superosity Makes Me Gay

Gentlefolk of the jury, men and women of the passing throng, Superosity Makes Me Gay is no more. It was a necessary change. I realised there was a need to focus on the matter at hand, a matter which the blog's name confused by adding superfluous politicisation. This was unnecessary. It was undesirable. What I need, what you need, what the world needs, is a blog which puts greater emphasis on the importance of Superosity. This importance doesn't seem to have been fully embraced by the world at large. Such lack is a sign of our collective dearth of cultural appreciation. It's a lack I will now put effort into rectifying, once every week or two, forevermore or until I start getting lazy about it again, under a new title.

Superosity Makes Me Gay is dead. Long live Superosity Makes Me Giddy.

A Transylvanian Twist

Anonymous Anonymous, he who is doubly good at being anonymous but paradoxically distinguishes himself in so doing and thus compromises his anonymity, has asked an interesting question regarding a recent Superosity strip:

"What is a Verve Vactor Thirteen and why is there nothing on the Google Box about it?"

Now, the answer to the latter part is of course quite clear. The Google Box simply does not possess the grand heights of wisdom that Superosity does. The core of the question, however, remains befuddling. If it were "Verve Vector Thirteen" there would be little confusion. It would be the thirteenth Verve Vector. Even Google Box would know that, quite probably. "Verve Vactor Thirteen," however? What is the thirteenth Verve Vactor? I do not know, but it is interesting that this is introduced to Superosity's mythology in the very same year of Superosity that is its thirteenth year.

Another interesting addition to the Superosity that occurred this year, one that probably has little to no relationship with Verve Vactors, is that of a monster monarchy. Also of interest is the lizard monarchy that was revealed shortly thereafter, but it remains to be seen whether this is to be expanded on. The monster element, however, has already impacted quite significantly upon the Superosity world that we know. Never again may we ever see the Janitor in the same way. Now we must look at him like this:



In true Superosity fashion, monsters are taken a step beyond the standard fur and spikes and given the option for such features as secondary oesophagi that lead to Hell. This is an exciting concept. Still, the true significance is that an entire subculture has been opened up for possible exploration in future storylines. Superosity was simply too massive to be filled up with such areas as space, time and alternate dimensions. So an entire civilisation has now been unveiled under our very noses, on the contemporary home planet of our intrepid heroes.

That is, two civilisations if you count the lizards. And with Alan's Famous Indian Screaming Lizard being stalked by whats-her-name, can further integration of this royal lineage be far behind? Yes, actually, it can be very far behind given the long game that Superosity plays so artfully. In the meantime, we are left to wonder if Alan's Famous Indian Screaming Lizard would lose its shrill charm if taken beyond its smirk-inducing vignettes.

The Shaming of the Shrew

So we've long passed Chris' honeymoon. His absinthe-moon too has long since expired. It remains to consider how well Superosity has managed this change in its dynamics.

To get the negativity out of the way, it was extremely disappointing to find the couple's paper anniversary not celebrated with a book printing of Superosity. Maybe next year we will see a book printed on cotton, I don't know. It would certainly be nice to have a version of Superosity to read in the bath, but it would be even nicer to already be keeping a copy of the book under my pillow. All I currently have there to console me after nightmares is a hand written nursery rhyme. I need something with more heft to it, with greater versatility. Something that can also be used to beat off nocturnal intruders and hope to inflict more than a paper cut.

Nonetheless, this is not point of primary importance. It is simply the icing on the wedding cake. Maybe also the little bride and groom figurine. What is important is how the stories have been affected.

For the most part, not very much. It has simply meant that storylines involving Arcadia have involved her as wife instead of fiancée. It has certainly allowed for some amusing moments such as Chris delegating his husbandly duties in the usual manner, but for the most part Arcadia has been an unusual wife. She has made few demands on her husband's lifestyle.

That is, until we recently finally found evidence of the shrew within.



We see now that she covets a certain image of married life and in order to meet it demands that Chris expands his own field of experience to encompass more mature roles. Next she'll be wanting him to develop as a person. It just never stops with these women.

Fortunately, we now know that the friendship she chose was with a hastily selected pair who turned out to be crazier than Chris.

It is perhaps fitting that the last image we see of Arcadia is in consequence of her simple plan going horribly wrong.



The storyline changed before we got to see whether the hostage situation was smoothly solved, so for now we are left to dwell on this event. Arcadia is bound. Not only physically by her new friends. Not only spiritually by her marriage. Totally and utterly, by an entire Superosity universe that is far too madcap to allow her to experience the plain aspects of married life.

New Jork, New Jork

With the introduction of Jorkeena, Superosity surprises us all by introducting the controversial theme of incest. Is there anything that Superosity is incapable of dealing with? Apparently not, as it's even able to handle the disturbing idea of Barton having emotions.

What pathos! Handled so adeptly, with such finesse! Such skill! Such talent! Other such synonyms! Perhaps not quite so successfully as would be seen from somebody of more refined technical ability, but these panels do handle the theme appropriately while managing retain the unique Superosity aesthetic. The important thing is that you can look upon that image and know what is going on. Who amongst us has not had the very same experience? Our souls crumpling up in despair as we whimper the name of a beloved one who will never fulfill our heartfelt desire?

Oh, Dot Warner, how I long for your playful smile.

It is the universal experience of the neurotypical, and Superosity manages to mirror it in Barton of all people.

Interestingly, reaction shots were used the week prior to make us laugh at Jork's mounting rage. It must be admitted even by the rabidly faithful that Mr. Crosby's artistic style is not so detailed as to seem capable of managing such humour, but these two strips are surprisingly successful.

Another point of interest seen in the second of those links is the discovery Jork apparently pronounces his name with the English "J" sound- enough so that it can be sensibly mixed up with the word "jerk." As there is no such sound in the Swedish language, one is led to wonder whether his accent is equally hilarious when he speaks his own native tongue.

Happy Birthday Superosity

I... I forgot to get you a present... and I'm calling you late... but that doesn't mean I don't love you! Just think of all the other things I'm neglecting even more badly. I haven't even started that novel which would completely turn the world of literature on its head if I ever completed it. Please don't hate me because I'm lazy.

Happy twelfth birthday. Nearly a teenager, you little scamp you.

Happy New Yearosity, Superosites

2010 may have been the least productive year for Superosity Makes Me Gay, but it has been a spectacular year for Superosity. With Chris finally married, the most significant shift in the comic's dynamic since Barton dying, we wait to see what this means for the strip as a whole.

Arcadia indicates that little has and will change, but there is more to be taken from that exchange. There is possible foreshadowing. There is the way in which their view of their respective situations is revealed: Arcadia sees Boardy's concern as being about the intrusion on his world, while Boardy sees his concern as the danger of Chris being hurt. This tension will likely prove a fertile ground for story in the future.

We have also seen that Arcadia is similarly protective of Chris, so it will be interesting to see what happens with two defenders in the nest... or, you know, a relevant metaphor that actually makes sense. Boardy and Arcadia have an overlapping perception of their respective roles regarding Chris is what I'm saying.

Plus Spaceball's story remains a cliffhanger waiting to be revisited.

Perhaps 2011 will be a better year for Superosity Makes Me Gay. I make no promises except for the promise to make outlandish excuses. It matters little. Superosity remains a giant monument to brilliance, and this tribute blog can never achieve anything more than hunch in its shadows with a laser pointer, occasionally highlighting tiny little flecks of its magnificent surface. Have a nice year, and may your 2011 goggles serve you well throughout.

A Ball Of A Different Manner

In a perfect world, one could read and write about Superosity all day long. This is not a perfect world, and never will be save for the brief period between aliens bringing world peace and somebody translating their mysterious book to discover that it's a cookbook.

A great many noteworthy things have occurred during this particular landmark period of Superosity, including the addressing of an issue that we weren't even aware of being an issue: the strange case of Arcadia's parentage. I suppose Dark Boardy is trying to ensure his own creation or something? I dunno. It would be overwhelming to attempt to address everything. Let us instead return to the start and re-engage with a relatively insignificant aspect that, having been left unresolved, is bound to raise its head again one day in the future. The return of Spaceball.

It is no secret that children's, or "family," media is a major part of Superosity. To call the main character Chris a manchild would be understating the case- his development was arrested so unequivocally that it was shunted directly to the head of death row and now lies buried somewhere in unhallowed ground. So when, long ago, a space-borne character modelled off Madballs was introduced, it was not the least bit outlandish. Some comics might have made do with the Madball reference and left it alone. Superosity, having inured us to eclectic references, had to one-up that by making the brief side-plot which ensued, with its surprise twist ending, was perhaps the greatest moment of that expedition in space.

The return of Spaceball is not likely to match the elegance of that fortnight-and-a-half story which marked his introduction. It is big, it is bold, it contains criminality and the most pervasive alien race of the entire comic. Yet it also brings the little narrative that I've been trying to concoct full circle. It contains two of the most fitting family-movie-like vignettes that Superosity has ever produced. And it does it with an eerie humourlessness that makes the moments stick out of the gag-a-day comic like an image in a 3D movie.

Just look at this. Chris can already fly through space in his nanorobotic suit. That's not the point. That's not the joy of the moment. This is Bastian riding upon Falkor. This is David Freeman navigating Trimaxion's craft for the very first time.

Now examine the stark contrast of the following week's Sunday. This is Elliot trying to convince a world of stubborn adults that ET poses no threat. This is Ernie Henderson trying to come to terms with Harry Henderson's danger.

There are no jokes here. Just the throbbing pulse of Superosity's soul briefly rising to the surface before being pulled back into the depths of its raging chaos. Simple references without elaboration, and yet moments too special to be described with an unmixed metaphor. And they are great.

To The Moon, Alan

Chris' new wife has been corrupted yet again, as originally seen back in the original You Gotta Have Hearts storyline. As this is a repeat of the events which led up to the original placement of the wedding date, there is some probability that this story has been in the works for five years now. It's all very exciting. Maybe we'll even find out how exactly the phrase "I'm all heart" worked to free Arcadia.

But let us move away from these action packed sequences and move back to a more sedate region, where a bewildered audience continues to fret over the outcome. Where a certain Alan, possibly continuing to make googly eyes at Deepskyfrontier, no doubt continues to wear his favourite shirt beneath his suit. A shirt supposedly depicting the very celestial object upon which he is currently standing.

This shirt, this moon-shirt if you will, was recently described to Bobby as having been bought because the picture was mistaken for a golf ball. There is a contradiction here- once upon a time Alan told Terrence Baum that the picture was in fact drawn on by hand. There is the further matter that Bobby claimed that it looked like one of Mickey Rooney's balls, when it has previously been surreptitiously demonstrated that Mickey Rooney's naked arse bears a very good resemblance albeit in a different colour. It's worth also noting that a naked posterior is frequently referred to as a "moon."

All these factors add up to one thing: confusion. But it is a tantalising confusion, one that suggests exciting possibilities. Did Alan purchase a shirt while mistaking the image for one of a golf ball, and later mistake the label to be making reference to the lunar moon rather than Mickey Rooney's moon? Did he come to like the shirt so much that he made another one by drawing a picture on a plain shirt? It's a mystery.