Let us all gaze upon Mask, committed whinger that he is, as he complains about the outdoors being wet while also complaining about his only source of shelter which also happens to be the moistest object he is in contact with.
There are a great many people in Superosity who complain pettishly. Mask, Bobby, Barton, Alan's embittered mother... but this is probably my favourite. That zany spoiled brat.
I have no great insights today. If you desire more intriguing observations, check out the exciting discussion about Lester's relationship with Chris (and Lester's extreme modesty regarding bare shoulders) in the comments for the post below this one. I promise you won't be disappointed- unless of course you have unreasonably high expectations, in which case you have nobody but yourself to blame for any disappointment you may experience.
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I also documented every single instance of Chris and Bobby having the same facial expression at the same time.
Prove me wrong, deep sky frontier. Prove me wrong.
Pink haired Cool-Ass lady was my new favorite character until I had to type "Pink haired Cool-Ass lady".
Now you don't have to, for she is known as "Gloria."
It looks like that examination of Chris and Lester was well-timed now that things are starting to heat up between those two. Arcadia and Boardy had better watch out, their love triangle has become a quadrilateral!
Fanon: Gloria is Ally's mother.
I believe (though I don't think everything that I believe) it is the other way around due to a standard-issue time travel paradox. You know, the kind that's all the rage.
Alas and alack, I cannot prove you wrong at this time. You have performed above and beyond the standards set by Paul Blart.
Extremely irresponsible fanon: Paul Blart's second movie will be a faithful re-imagining of Rambo First Blood Part II and Alan will go into a coma of pure Blart-induced ecstasy.
Ecstasy is a word that really should have an x in it.
Alternately, Gloria is Ally from the future and Paul Blart II will be a reimagining of Big Momma's House.
Or, possibly and future Ally will undergo a futuristic sex-change operation / rejuvenation treatment, travel back in time, marry Gloria as Man-Ally and then Gloria who will have baby boy, who will then grow up, have sex change operation to become Gloria, go back in time, to become mother to Ally, who will then travel into the future, change name to Ally, and have one more sex change operation / rejuvenation before going back in time to become Man-Ally. And who is this Man-Ally? I haven't figured that out yet.
Also, perhaps Paul Blart II will be a reimagining of Citizen Kane in which the part of Rosebud is played by a Segway, and Paul Blart plays every single (human) character in the entire movie. Non-human characters will be played by humans other than Blart.
And,
Man-Ally can be Barton, or perhaps Paul Blart.
Blarton. After all, if you have a time machine and aren't squeamish about intractable, universe-annihilating paradoxes, then Barton and Plart can easily be one-and-the-same with Gloria, Ally, and probably half a dozen other characters.
It's unwise to ignore the striking similarity of names between Ally and Alan's brother Albie.
Un-freaking-redunkubelievable. You're right. Suddenly I am very frightened for the non-annihilated status of the universe.
There are actually going to be nine Paul Blart movies, including two prequels. "Paul Blart 5, Guardian of Love" will win eight academy awards. Best Costumes, Best Sound Editing, Best Song, Best Original Score, Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography, Best Makeup, and Best Adapted Screenplay (adapted from a poorly-selling biography of the Hon. Charles Hugh Lindsay, a member of the British Parliment from 1865 to 1874. It will focus on the last sixteen years of Chucky's life, culminating in his death.) Paul Blart will pay his dead wife, Emelia and will appear in only eighteen minutes of the of the film, mostly in the form of dreams and flashbacks. It will be widely reviewed as "Better than Balto" (the 1995 film produced by Steven Spielberg's Amblimation.)
Oh, and Pepsi Cola will win an academy award for best product placement. It doesn't really matter.
Someone remind me what happened to Jork. Why isn't he in this story?
http://superosity.keenspot.com/d/20070330.html
Now you have to remind me what happened to Pete.
Hm... I could have sworn that the jewel store ended up failing, but can't see where any further appearances of Jork ma have occurred unless it was during a one-shot week. Which also means that Jork Jr. could well be somewhere be in the Richman mansion, although Moneybags obviously abandoned him as a friend as he was hiding out on the moon without him.
And here's what happened to Pete:
http://superosity.keenspot.com/d/20001211.html
Now I feel horrible. Horrible. Horrible. I don't have any idea how I missed this. Was I in the hospital with a concussion + coma + broken spine in 499 places? Was I on the brink of death? Probably.
Pete came back after everything went back to normal, though. It was crazy!
http://superosity.keenspot.com/d/20001215.html
deepskyfrontier, it's like you don't even read this comic.
After checking the one-shot weeks since Jork's Horrible Son for continuity, I can safely say that Jork hasn't appeared since 2007. Maybe you dreamed the jewel store's failure? Dreaming about Superosity is perfectly normal.
Trawling the one-shots did, however, reveal the whereabouts of Snap's father.
http://superosity.keenspot.com/d/20070707.html
Why doesn't Superosity have its own wiki yet, is what I want to know.
Oh wow, I only remembered the part where Pete was fired so I stopped looking as soon as I dug up the strip.
Yes, I dream about Superosity a lot. Once I dreamed that I went on a date with Boardy, but he didn't seem to have a true gender so we had to break it off.
I'd start a Superosity Wiki, and have even thought about it before, but I don't know how. I was only able to make this place because it involved nothing more complicated than clicking on a few tabs.
A Superosity Wiki sounds like much fun. Chris once told me that he was frustrated with wikipedia because they kept deleting his detailed Superosity articles. A dedicated wiki is the solution.
To create Superosity wiki,
1. register a domain name. wikisuperosity.com is available.
2. get webserver. Maybe Keenspot will subsidize this?
3. install mediawiki http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/MediaWiki
4. the rest is writing articles.
Certainly if there's any comic that deserves a wiki it's Superosity for sure.
I think my first article would be a list of giants in Superosity. Paul Fusco, Bill Clinton, Roberinus (half-giant?), unnamed giant Bobby hired to pound Alan and Hedrick.
I really want to know if I'm missing any, and also what happened to Pete.
He was old. Did he die?
I got the impression he wasn't so much old as poorly preserved due to too much celebratory self-congratulatory drinking and drug- cookie ingestion. If he died, I think he died of something other than old age. I vote for death by almost choking on a popsicle, but then almost drowning on it instead because it melts at the last second, but instead of drowning, the popsicle was made in a bad place and an infectious disease enters the lungs, but instead of dying of ideopathic pneumonia, he gets hit by an ambulance while storming out of the hospital screaming about how he "made the third webpage," but instead of dying from that, he is mistaken for a wild animal, liberated from the hospital by PETA activists and "realeased" back into the wild where he then is attacked by billions of malarious mosquitos, but instead of dying of malaria, he dies of cirosis of the liver, because he drank too much. Also, Rasputin hunts him down and hits him with a stick while he's dying, which doesn't help any. The End.
Tragically, the stick would have been absolutely perfect for roasting marshmallows with if it wasn't covered with blood. Screw it, it's just blood. S'mores anyone?
Problem with your theory: Rasputin is fictional.
I meant the real Rasputin!
So should we talk to the almighty Chri. Cros. about making this wiki happen?
I'd hope he'd be pleased as punch!
Until someone explained that punch has more than one meaning, that saying always seemed really sarcastic to me. Because I don't like to be punched and punching other people is only so-so.
I say yes.
It would be very nice to have more Superosity-related things to do with my free time.
Reading the comments on your blog, I am fully convinced that said wiki would be magical.
Which one of us should contact him?
As much as I enjoy Superosity and fully endorse any attention it may receive, my income is already hard stretched just keeping my belly filled with daily bowls of seasoned water. I had to pull my belt so tight that it required custom holes situated further back to fasten it, and belt modification is more expensive than you may think! It's going to be a full year's pay before I've settled that debt with the swindler of a beltman.
I can occasinally invest some time writing about Superosity, but have neither the money nor the competence for properly augmenting Superosity fandom. A person who approaches Messr. Crosby about assistance with such a project should be someone capable of actually making it happen.
I have sent the proposal to Chris.
Www.wikisuperosity.com
Chris set it up. We are hosted by Keenspot. He even registered the domain, so the future of wiki is as secure as that of Keenspot itself. We truly live in a magical age. Now it is time to begin.
I believe the next step is to start writing basic articles that will form the backbone of the wiki as it evolves. More in-depth articles will evolve naturally over time once we reach a critical mass: the point at which people recognize the wiki as worthy of being improved further. Until that point is reached, a wiki is a leap of faith.
So, essentially, at this point, we should begin by writing whatever interest us the most. No need to start with the big subjects right away. Let's cut our teeth on medium-sized things.
Brilliant. I don't have the time today, but I'll have a closer look tomorrow and start adding articles as soon as I can.
The one thing I want to change right away is impossible to edit- the intro says "you're" when it means "your."
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